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Much like that annoying guy who’d rage quit from your DOTA session if you didn’t do things Just So, they treat dating as a series of steps that To these would-be dating Min-Maxers, you have a limited time within which to get your various firsts – your first date, your first kiss, your first sexual experience, etc.

In fact, the younger you are, the odds higher are that you’re actually going to have fewer partners than previous generations.

But here’s the fun thing about numbers: they don’t tell you as much as we think.

Three years ago I confessed here on Mamamia about a rather embarrassing episode where I was publicly outed for singing the wrong song lyrics. I was trying to look cool at the gym while running on the treadmill. This time I just didn’t realise what the hell I was singing. And Summer of ‘69, which I found out last year, has nothing to do with the summer of 1969 and everything to do with Bryan Adams having a summer brimmimg with oral sex. Next week why don’t you write a song about slapping the salami over the Easter break. And then there are just the lyrics which make NO SENSE TO ME. When Beyonce sings Bootylicious and she says, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?

Well, cue the fog machine and the xylophone because let’s go back in time and I’ll remind you of what went down: I got caught singing the wrong lyrics to a song. I just really love the idea that Jesus had these two other brothers called Mark and Kevin roaming around like the Biblical version of the Daddo brothers or something. Three years later and I had another confronting experience with song lyrics but this time I wasn’t getting the lyrics wrong. ” “It’s about someone thinking they have a semi-charmed life? Which is romantic IF YOU LIKE HAVING A FREAKING STALKER.

Dating and relationships are sloppy affairs, a collision of sexual chemistry, lifestyle compatibility and no small amount of luck.

Numbers are data, dat your lack of dating experience.

That’s not taking ownership of being socially inexperienced; that’s making it the core of your identity and letting it overtake your life.

The difference is deceptively simple, but it makes a world of difference.

They become too afraid to approach , never mind people they’re attracted to.

They set themselves up for failure by looking for reasons why others couldn’t possibly like them or why they couldn’t improve, and wait for the Universe to deliver instead.

Someone who’s had many sex partners may be the last of the red hot lovers… Someone who’s had very few may well be shy and awkward…

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